You read right. Though in abundance and for some reason attracted to me, I find myself a little less than enthused about the options of late. Is it the time we live in that have changed men and is what I want even in existence anymore?
Where do I begin this week?
Could I date a diva? In the last year, I’ve met a few guys that are well kept..love shopping…the arts…and enjoy discussing fine cuisine and wine tasting with me. I’ve thought how great to find someone who enjoys the same things as me, how easier could it get? Then it dawned on me that I have enough gal pals. Coming from the east coast, I’ve been exposed to a breed of man with nicely kept eyebrows and jeans that cost more than most things in my wardrobe. I’ve grown accustomed to the fact that they exist but I don’t want one on my arm. In previous articles I’d mentioned my tendency to type cast and focus too much on what the ideal guy for me would be, but I think just wanting a “manly” type man isn’t too much to ask for is it? I’m not quite sure why I attract this breed … but I’m not entirely sure why I attract a lot of what I do. I couldn’t date a diva this much I know. If someone spends more time in the bathroom getting ready than I, well it’s doomed to fail and I envision cat fights and hurt feelings. Like I said I have enough gal pals so I am not sure this would really be my thing. Also, if you’re confused about you sexuality and not just a well groomed metrosexual I am not the gal to help you figure that out. Point blank. There’s a fine line between asking to borrow a pair of heels and asking to put them over your shoulders. (Sorry, Mom if you’re reading this)..frankly, I think I am still in search of that lumberjack with a beard.
“I date cops and you date hipsters with diagonal parts” a friend uttered to me recently as being the reason why I have no success in dating. I have a tendency to really be drawn to those I share common interests with, but does that make me a hipster? I’m loud and out there a true extrovert yet I at times attract these awkward socially inept quiet types. Granted they have great taste in music which makes me think, so what if he’s an introvert it could work. I am learning the hard way that no it really can’t. I can’t date a guy who looks better in skinny jeans than I and I’m too much of a social butterfly to really be hanging out at home. So my friend is probably right in her own way. Though I am totally against type casting in dating I still tend to do it. I’m convinced that sometimes common interests don’t really equate to a soul mate, moreso just another few hipster boy besties. Which I can deal with. In fact, it seems in two years of dating I have acquired a great deal of awesome guy friends. No loss there. Some of the best beards I’ve seen though, I will give them that.
The last and final interesting to happen last week was the end of something before it even began because of my spirituality. This was a first for me. I’m pretty public with my bible hugging ways and though some may be offended or turned off by that, it’s not something I’d ever keep silent or pretend not to be. I’ve never really thought about religion being a serious factor to consider when dating until recently. I think at this stage of my life I’d have to really be connected with someone on all levels. Physically, mentally and spiritually. I don’t feel it’s out of the ordinary either, to think this way. I had been talking to someone who I saw potential with, character wise. There were a few things however that left me uncomfortable about the situation. Primarily the distance between us and the length of travel it would entail to see one another. Have I mentioned I am not a fan of long distance relationships? I think so. Since I am a big advocate of being open and honest, I decided to take my own advice this time and be truthful about why I didn’t think it would work. After mentioning several factors, the last thing that I mentioned in my little “its not you its me” speech was that I really felt it necessary that spiritually I connect with someone because in the future, if there were a future it would matter. If I were on the other end of this conversation I’d have a great deal of respect for such honesty. It didn’t go as I had planned which made me feel confident about my decision to not move forward and pursue dating. While one thing was said to me privately about my reservations being understood, good old Facebook told a different story when this person posted a Facebook status basically attacking my faith and accusing me of being judgmental. Now I’m Judge Judy, whatever.
In the midst of all this however, I did realize one thing. Being single is really a joyous adventure in self awareness. Everyday I learn something new about myself that just makes me feel better about the future. You have to really get out there and meet all kinds when you’re dating to really understand what it is you want. So what if I still have no damn clue, eventually something will stick. I see a lot of people who are so focused on finding someone that they start to lose themselves in the search. It isn’t healthy and finding someone should be more of a benefit to life rather than a need.
So, I say focus on what’s good and what’s happening right now rather than worry about whether or not you’ll ever meet Mr. or Mrs. Right. For me, there’s been some great “Mr. In the Moments” that have made it interesting and entertaining enough to hold me over. I know I’m closer then ever.