Coming off of a bit of a dating spree and couldn’t help myself from sharing a few things I’ve learned. The first date is at times an awkward even painful experience. Why make it worse than it has to be? There are a few things that ultimately you shouldn’t discuss when meeting a dating prospect for the first time, things you shouldn’t utter..things that may result in your date walking out on you. I should mention that I did walk out on one and though for the first time, it was both insanely rude of me as well as refreshingly liberating. Let me explain further. You may want to jot these down.
10 Things Not To Say on a First Date
1. “My ex was nuts. There were jealousy issues in the relationship” – Why are you talking about your past relationship on a first date? How is this relevant to the newness of meeting each other? All this says to me is that you’re either not over it and if you’re out with me, you should probably be over it. In general, the issues in your passed love affairs shouldn’t be a topic you’re dying to explore with a new person on a first date. Save it for your therapist, order a cocktail and engage in real conversation instead.
2. “I’m unemployed. I’m trying to find myself” – What?! Get a job! Look, I’m all for trying to figure out your path in life and not being sure where your happiness in life truly lies, but in the meantime shouldn’t you be paying your bills? Get a job, I have nothing more to say about this one.
3. “I’m not looking for anything serious” – Can I order my dinner before you jump to conclusions about what I am looking for? For pete’s sake I know I am in my 30s but just because I’ve agreed to hang out with you doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump into a relationship. Get over yourself.
4. “BTDubs” – How about STFU? Seriously, you’re offline and in the real world. Please don’t speak in acronyms and think it’s cute. You’re not Lauren Conrad and this isn’t The Hills. It makes you sound like a complete ass.
5. “My Ex and I used to come here” – Again with the ex? Why don’t you call her and ask her to join us too? Seriously, whether you’re a guy or a gal leave the ex factor out of the conversation. It really is a big turn just as much as your Facebook photo that has him or her cropped out of it. If you’re not over it you have no business dating. Take sometime to yourself to figure things out.
6. “I’m a Serial Monogamist” – Great. So how many unsuccessful relationships have you been in? How many times have you jumped from one to another? I’m so honored you’re out with me right now. Am I next? Shut up. There’s no need to divulge your dating patterns at this point. The fact that you’re able to commit is great, but none of them going anywhere only makes me wonder, “what’s wrong with this guy?”
7. “I need an adventurous girl” – I rock climb, hike and indulge in spicy food on occasion, is that what you mean? REALLY. Can we get through a date before you’re making “bedroom demands” or telling me your fantasies? This same guy likes to prematurely sext and send inappropriate photos of himself. Major red flag.
8. “Did that tattoo hurt?” – No, I orgasmed. Of course it hurt you idiot. There are needles in the machine you refer to as a tattoo gun. I wish I had a gun to put myself out of misery from a ten minute conversation with you. Here’s a tip, generally people with many tattoos don’t want to answer stupid questions about tattoos.
9. “You’re perfume smells like my Mother” – Hold the phone freak. I’m glad your Mother has taste and may or may not wear Chanel but never compare me to her. That’s a sure fire way for me to NOT to answer the phone the next time you call.
The number 10 thing never to say on a first date, the one that caused me to stand up and walk out.
10. “Ultimately, I know I want to be with my ex” – Great, thanks for the heads up. Ordinarily, I would have probably related to this and offered some piece of advice because I understand what it’s like to feel like that way. However, I had recently been jerked around for two months by a guy who clearly wasn’t over his ex, who wasted my time because he was lonely and “ultimately” exited out of my life with that very statement. So, to hear it on first date with someone else so soon after certainly rubbed me the wrong way. I stood up and walked out. I’m sure he thinks I’m odd or crazy even for doing so but I did it and it felt great. I hope he worked things out with her.
The ex factor in general is something I always advise against bringing up early on when dating someone new. I think many people, in an effort to not feel alone, jump right into dating. It isn’t fair to you or the person or persons you date because you did not allow yourself the necessary time to heal. Though some felt it extreme, I held off for a year after the end of my last because I knew it was more important for me to fix the relationship I had with myself than it was to find a relationship with someone else. Just a piece of advice, take your time.
Well, there you have it..10 Things Not to Say on a First Date. What was the worst or most insane thing someone has said to you on a first date?